Being a parent is not an easy task, far from it.
And you know it. Even if you go out of your way to give your child everything they need (love, attention, toys, etc.), you know you are not perfect.
Indeed, you make mistakes like everyone else. Sometimes you are tired and stressed and you project your emotions onto your child.
Do not worry ! This is not the end of the world. Everyone breaks down from time to time, but you need to learn to control how your emotions are expressed.
But did you know that even your best-intentioned behaviors can take a toll on your child’s future?
How? ‘Or’ What ? Quite simply because it instills in him habits that are, in reality, toxic. And it goes way beyond being a bad example for your child.
Children easily learn what adults teach them. This goes for things related to social learning, different skills, good and bad deeds.
If a parent is used to having a certain attitude towards other people, mistreating others, or using swear words, their children are very likely to understand that this type of behavior is okay and that they will like it. ‘imitate.
In order not to face this type of bad behavior in the future, parents should be an example for their children.
So here are the behaviors you need to avoid if you don’t want them to come back like a boomerang in your face in the future.
1. « No » is the answer to everything
Some parents can be too restrictive. The personality of some parents may include « no » as an answer to many of the children’s requests.
While it is important to follow the rules and behave well, saying « no » to most ideas and wishes can reflect on a child who will grow up feeling emotionally rejected or refraining from saying anything. to his parents for information about his own life for fear of rejection.
2. Suppress your child’s emotions
What parents need to understand is that using discipline to ensure a child’s good behavior is one thing, but taming their emotions is another.
Parents should also avoid minimizing their child’s emotions by saying things like « Men don’t cry » or « Don’t be so dramatic » etc.
By suppressing a child’s emotions, we risk affecting their cognitive functions, such as memory. In order to raise a healthy adult, always be careful not to suppress, but rather to understand their feelings.
3. Don’t accept your thoughts
Some parents end every argument or request with “because I said so”. They do not recognize their child’s opinion on a subject that concerns them.
Parents should remember that giving their children the opportunity to express their opinions is a way for them to feel empowered and responsible for their own decisions.
If this aspect is not taken into account, the adult may refrain from expressing himself or think that he has nothing important to add.
4. Encourage inappropriate behavior
Suppose you, as a parent, see your child making fun of another child. What would you do ? Some would take their son or daughter aside and ask them to apologize for being mean.
Others would laugh and let the situation go on, as if the child would figure out what was going on.
The downside to this error is that the child will understand that the parent is complacent with this type of behavior and will continue to do so on their own since they have not been reprimanded.
This could result in an adult being irresponsible for his or her actions or complacent with the bad behavior of others.
5. Fail to keep your words and promises
A study found that young children feel they have to keep their promises. They also expect others to keep their promises.
Having said that, there are times when parents promise rewards or actions to a child that are not kept. The child may then think that his mother or father is distracted or even incoherent.
This can create an adult who has confidence issues or is inclined to focus on safe immediate pleasures rather than waiting for long-term rewards.
6. Don’t apologize to them
If you’re a parent, you’ve probably got angry with your children in a time of stress or overreacted to a simple situation.
In such cases, it is important to take a moment to calm down and sincerely apologize. Breathe and talk to your child, explaining why you were wrong.
Set an example by acknowledging their emotions and telling them you’re sorry.
Failure to do this when you are clearly wrong can give the image of a person who does not care about the feelings of others or who does not acknowledge their mistakes.
This could result in an adult ignoring other people’s feelings and not caring about re-establishing meaningful relationships (even if they are the wrong ones).
7. Do not encourage curiosity
Children are eager to learn. For a child, the world is a place to discover and nature itself raises many questions.
Parents are naturally the first to ask them. But, unfortunately, it happens that due to a crazy daily routine, the answer to a question like « Why is it raining? » Or « It’s like that ».
This type of response can sound like a chopper to a child’s curiosity and discourage them from engaging in critical thinking.
Later in life, he can grow into an adult who is not interested in science or understanding how things work.
8. Always give your child everything
If your child says he wants a toy and the gift is almost always guaranteed, the chances are good that he will be spoiled.
By fulfilling all of your child’s wishes, you are letting them know that things are easy and that they don’t need to work hard.
The same goes for allowances that do not require chores. By making this mistake, parents risk raising an adult who takes things for granted or who doesn’t put in the effort to get anything.
9. Keep your child in a constant comfort zone
It’s no surprise that parents like to keep their kids comfortable. They often make decisions to keep their children safe, even in situations where the child faces challenges in becoming independent.
By ensuring that your child is always used to staying in their comfort zone, you risk turning them into an adult who is afraid to make their own decisions or take risks, which can be important for their career later on. .
Read also : How to punish a teenager who disrespects his parents?