It is difficult to define a difficult child…
First of all, it depends on the type of person you are: some people are more flexible and some people are strict.
Maybe you are a modern mom who allows freedom in your home; maybe you’re on the traditional side and menstruating.
Whatever your parenting style, you are a good mother.
Don’t doubt it for a second!
A difficult child may be an indomitable, clingy or shy child.
In addition, an aggressive, loud, disrespectful and rude child can be considered difficult.
If you have problems with your child, even if you try to be a good parent and give him everything he needs, you have a difficult child.
Parenting a difficult child is a big challenge.
The love you feel for your child is unconditional and it’s almost impossible to be tough and strict.
Unfortunately, that’s life: children can’t be adults and they can’t know everything.
No matter how old your child is, it is you who must show them the right path in life.
But how ?
Raising a difficult child should be an organized task.
You have to accept that your child needs a different approach.
Even if you have other children who are responding well to your current parenting style, you have to accept that it is not working with this child.
If your child is breaking the rules, causing trouble for everyone, you can’t let that go.
Dealing with this problem is difficult, but it must be done.
Of course, it all depends on the age of your child.
It is not the same thing for a child of one year and for a child of fourteen.
1. Accept the problem
It’s hard to admit that your child is difficult.
However, this is the first step when it comes to raising a difficult child.
You need to understand that no matter how much you love your child, there is a problem.
You cannot give up, because your child will suffer in the future.
2. Identify the problem
You are so busy with the problems your child is causing that you haven’t had time to think about the cause of this behavior.
Take some time and analyze it.
Try to remember when it all started, when you started noticing those changes that didn’t seem like a big deal.
Children are small people and they go through a lot every day.
You need to talk with your child and be there.
Be open-minded and supportive.
3. Stay calm and patient
If you know the reason for these problems, it’s time to talk about solutions.
Even if you don’t know what the real cause is, you should continue.
The most important thing when raising a difficult child is to stay calm and keep your cool.
If your child is really difficult, your anger and yelling will make the situation worse.
Tell your child that you understand everything, even if you don’t.
Just open your heart and relax.
After being gentle, it’s time to get back to problem solving.
Tell your child that no matter how much you love him, you can’t allow certain behaviors.
Tell him that you would like him to behave better and that you will do everything in your power to make that happen.
4. Be persistent and stick to your rules
I understand that all the rules, punishments, founding them and discussing them are difficult.
When you’re raising a difficult child, you have to stand firm.
Maybe you don’t have the strength for another argument.
This is all perfectly understandable, but if you get limp before it’s time, you’ll make the situation worse.
5. Show her your love no matter what
When you’re raising a difficult child, sticking to your routine is a must.
However, that doesn’t mean you can’t be a loving parent at the same time.
Even though you have grounded your child, try to express your love and compassion.
It is important to be gentle even when disciplining your child.
6. Reward your child
Talking, punishing and everything else is completely normal if you are raising a difficult child.
It’s something that has to be done and that’s it.
But, if your child is improving or doing something good in general, reward that good behavior, even if you wouldn’t normally reward it.
You need to show your child that you have a softer side too.
Positive reinforcement is an effective way to improve a person’s attitude and self-esteem.
These are some essential steps when tackling your problem.
How do you stay calm with a difficult child?
Everything is a challenge and an ordeal when raising a difficult child, but being calm and patient is extremely difficult.
Breathing deeply, shouting when you are alone, running or anything that will take your anger out of you is needed now.
Maybe your anger will change things for the better.
Maybe your child will be afraid and will obey you when you start yelling and screaming.
But, in the long run, that’s not what you want.
A scared child won’t tell you anything.
You will miss a lot of important things.
So how do you manage to stay calm?
1. Consider professional help
There are professionals who can help you and there is no shame in that.
You know you’ve done your best and now is the time to take a different approach.
Maybe your child has special needs that are difficult to understand without professional help and instruction.
Also, seeing a therapist is something everyone should do.
Talking about your feelings with someone who can be objective is really good for your mental health.
Conversations between your child and the therapists are private, but if your child is underage, you will know some basics.
2. Consider family therapy
After a few sessions between your child and the therapist, talk about a family session.
Of course, this may not be necessary if your child has problems with certain things that are not related to your family.
However, it can’t hurt you.
Family therapy is a great way to reconnect and share feelings.
This can be done at home, but a therapist will be there to guide you and give you some tips to improve your communication and your relationship in general.
3. Get the whole family involved
Your partner and the rest of the family should be involved.
Now is not the time to make secrets or not care.
You’re doing something important that needs to be done, and you need to talk to everyone.
If your partner is not on the same page, you need to resolve this issue.
You need to compromise as soon as possible and move on.
Parenting a difficult child is more difficult for mothers, but you must explain your concerns and opinions to your partner.
If you have other children, you should let them know.
Do not exclude them or neglect them.
What if nothing works?
Unfortunately, some children go astray.
Maybe you are the parent of an extremely difficult child who has too many problems.
Maybe you have too many problems and these methods of raising a difficult child seem ridiculous and outdated.
And I understand that!
Life happens and sometimes you’re in a situation where you can’t do anything.
Of course, this scenario usually occurs with older children.
You must remember that you did everything in your power to change the situation.
So don’t minimize your parenting strategies.
Your love and care has always been there.
So be patient and don’t give up!
I feel like my child hates me
Unfortunately, the feeling of being hated by your own child occurs.
Even if you’re not the parent of a difficult child, you may feel this.
Children don’t know much, and they are still learning and growing.
They do not appreciate their parents enough, and this is even more present when they are teenagers.
In most cases, this feeling disappears.
The children grow up and become more gentle and understanding.
However, if you are raising a difficult child, you probably feel like your child hates you all day, every day.
But your child does not hate you!
It’s a confusing time and some things are being left behind.
If your child knew something important, he wouldn’t behave like that.
Don’t take it to heart and try to focus on fixing the problem.