Sometimes parents who are tired, stressed, angry or worried react furiously to certain behaviors of the child.
They have an inappropriate attitude in front of their offspring.
However, in another situation, they would not have acted in this way.
The mood of the parents is an important factor that determines not only the behavior of the child, but also the reaction of the parents to the behavior of the child.
Moreover, when the mood of the parents is unpredictable, the children feel anxious.
Indeed, when the parents do not pay attention to the behavior of the child one day, and the next day get angry because of the same behavior, the child feels confused.
When the parents get angry with the child because they are worried about something else, the child is angry because the parents treated him unfairly.
The parents’ anger and their aggressive behavior lead the child to feel threatened.
In this case, he is frightened by the bad mood of his parents.
In fact, the bad mood of the parents leads to the children associating it with themselves and feeling guilty.
So, it is important for parents to take care of themselves and solve their problems constructively, which will not harm their children.
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Parents’ anger is what scares children the most
Stress is a normative part of parenthood.
Parents are expected to often feel frustrated or scared when raising a child, and sometimes these feelings lead to anger.
Parents usually get angry when they think the child is deliberately misbehaving.
If the parents think that the child can control his feelings and behavior, but he does not do it on purpose, because he wants to annoy and irritate the parents, then there is a good chance that such an interpretation of the behavior of the child causes anger.
The child is frightened by the anger of the parents, because this is not the reaction they expect.
Parents need to know that small children think and feel differently, that they do not connect cause and effect as adults do, and that they connect everything that happens around them with themselves.
Little children don’t have empathy, they don’t understand how their parents feel.
They don’t know what will make their parents angry, but they try to figure it out.
Besides, growing up is stressful.
Children face frustration every day because things don’t go the way they want and expect.
Children must learn from their parents how to manage frustrations, how to behave when they are angry.
This is what allows them to move forward gradually.
They need time to fully understand what their parents are trying to teach them.
But understanding them is the key to achieving the long-term goals of education.
Parents sometimes want to change their child’s behavior by telling him that he is bad, ill-mannered, clumsy, immature or incompetent.
When a child hears such criticism, he feels rejected.
If the child perceives himself as bad, he will probably do things that his parents consider bad.
If the child sees himself as incapable, he is unlikely to try to learn new skills.
Children learn EVERY DAY.
They rely on their parents for knowledge and skills.
So they need encouragement and support from their parents.
Here’s everything parents need to know
Children with high self-esteem do better because they are more motivated to try and are not afraid of failure.
They are happier because they feel good about their ability to cope with failure.
Besides, they have a better relationship with their parents, because they know that their parents believe in them.
Parents build their children’s self-esteem by acknowledging and appreciating their children’s efforts even when they are not at their best.
Thus, it is important to appreciate the child’s desire to help, supporting them even when they fail and encouraging them to try again, acknowledging and emphasizing the peculiarities.
Parents think the child will learn an important lesson (not to repeat the unwanted behavior) if they hit him.
What children learn from corporal punishment is:
1. Hitting is an acceptable response to anger.
2. People they trust and who expect to protect them will hurt them.
3. They should fear their parents instead of trusting them and expecting them to help and teach them important things.
4. Their home is a dangerous place for learning and research.
In fact, parents need to think about what they want to teach their child in the long run.
If they want to teach him to be nonviolent, they have to show him how to be nonviolent.
Besides, parents should think about what it’s like to be hit as an adult.
If someone came and punched them, they would feel humiliated.
You learn the most important things in the most difficult situations…
We are not motivated to please the person who hit us, we feel resentment, fear, and sometimes we want revenge.
1. Count to 10 before saying or doing anything.
If you’re still angry, walk away, leave the room, and give yourself time to calm down.
2. Relax your shoulders, take a deep breath, and repeat a calming phrase to yourself.
3. Don’t say anything until you’ve calmed down.
4. Take a time out.
Tell the child and yourself that his behavior made you angry and that you won’t talk about it until you calm down.
5. Think about the situation.
Think about why your child might have behaved the way he did.
Look at the situation from his point of view.
Offer a response that respects the situation from the child’s perspective and in which you explain to the child what made you angry.
6. Talk to the child about what happened when you planned a response that includes your long-term goals, shows the child you care, takes into account how the child thinks and feels, but gives it a clear order and structure.
7. Remember that the situation represents an opportunity for the child to learn how to resolve conflicts through communication and the problem-solving process.
Understand anger as a sign that you and your child don’t understand each other’s points of view, which means you need to re-establish communication based on understanding.
Don’t let your anger cause you to say something mean, ugly, criticize the child to make him stupid, yell at him or hit him.
Do not try to get revenge on the child because his behavior irritated you.
Remember that we learn the most important things in the most difficult situations.
Take advantage of every opportunity to be the kind of person you want your child to become.
